Neverland Ranch, CA - Michael Jackson officially announced his candidacy for the office of the US President today.
"I've asked all my friends to lend me their allowances to start my own political party. I will call it the Pajama Party," Jackson announced.
"I've got many supporters actively begging their parents to vote for me. They are so good at running my campaign, and they work so hard. We've had many all night debriefings."
In light of current allegations of molesting minors, Jackson has adopted a platform modelled around Bush's "Leave No Child Behind". "My slogan will be 'Love No Child's Behind'", Jackson stated.
"We all support Michael," stated Jackson's sister Janet. "There is not one person I know who would not willingly give him the shirt of their back....well, except for me...mine is still being mended from the Super Bowl".