Written by Paul Deacon
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Topics: elephant, Circus

Wednesday, 5 September 2001

image for Nellie May Go Back To Circus
Nellie's cocaine habit was a problem

After over 40 years in the jungle Nellie the elephant is said to be considering moving back to the circus.

She has been working as Chief Assistant to the Head of the Herd since answering his call in 1956 but is said to be tired of blowing his trumpet. "She misses the sawdust" said a close friend. "She wants to lead a big parade again".

However, a spokesman for Gerry Cottle's Circus told TheSpoof "There are few openings for elephants in the modern circus nowadays. Nellie is too old to retrain to juggle chainsaws or bungee jump. But if Nellie has 80wpm, Word, Excel, MYOB and Internet research skills we may consider her for a clerical position"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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