WASHINGTON, DC - Emergency room physicians at a Washington DC hospital got quite a surprise on Saturday, when G.W. Bush was brought in for an exam after fainting during a local football game. "He didn't want us to loosen his pants, but when he passed out again, we had no choice but to remove his constricting clothing for further study". What they found was, in their words, "shocking". "He was wearing womens pink silk panties, they looked so silly on such a big bottom. No wonder he didn't want us to remove his pants". Laura Bush, wife of the President, was interviewed for comment after the incident. When asked what she thought of her husband wearing womens panties, she replied, "George is very sensitive to most fabrics. Silk is the only one he has found that does not cause him to scratch himself to "death". But... pink... and womens? Insiders say, "Everyone has something in their closet - it doesn't make him any less of a man. He is not someone who could accept a "cotton crotch" gracefully".