Written by Jen A. Taylia
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Topics: Baby, Clean

Thursday, 22 April 2004

image for Frustrations mount as Baby Shits in Clean Diaper.
Yup, that's a turd alright.

New parent Bob Queen today came close to boiling point as baby daughter, April, squeezed out a watery stool no more than 30 seconds after a change.

"It's been happening all day", Bob lamented. "I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong… it just seems that we're working against each other here".

Bob, a high tech worker in a local medical establishement continuted,

"It's incredible. I can set up routers, configure PCs and Macs and when that piece of crap Microsoft Exchange goes down I can even bounce ideas around with my friend John, but damn - I can't seem to work out how to make this whole excrement process work to anything like maximum efficiency."

Phone calls to a local pediatrician yielded little in the way of support.

"Babies do shit they told me… Well I know that, and I'm not trying to stop it. I'm just trying to work towards making it happen 30 seconds BEFORE I change a diaper not 30 seconds after - I mean it's not rocket science".

When asked for comment Bobs wife, Mary X. Mass said, "Oh for Christ sake hand her over and I'll change her myself."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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