Crawford, Texas - (Dysfunctional Mess): Singer Michael Jackson will entertain wedding guests at Jenna Bush and Henry 'Hagar the Horrible' Hagar's May 10th nuptials at the Predator Chapel Ranch presidential family home in Crawford.
Jackson has been booked on Jenna's insistence and will be singing a mixed medley including We Are the World, Off the Wall, Smooth Criminal - in honor of the President himself maybe - and You Are Not Alone.
The singer was not the first choice of Mr & Mrs Bush who are footing the wedding bill and are rumored to have preferred the hiring of High School Musical star Vanessa Hudgens "until she did that tacky internet porn video" according to White House sources.
"Jackson has three months to spruce himself up and get his act together," Jenna Bush's wedding organiser said today.
"He knows that if he screws up over this one President Bush will send in Karl Rove and break his legs."
A full wedding guest list will be published next week.