Washington DC - (Cardiac Mess): GOP wannabe presidential nominee John McCain is heading for an imminent fatal coronary according to astrological analysis from the World Wiccan Council AGM at the Du Pont Circle HQ this weekend.
"We see this year's 24 February's Pisces Sun/Virgo Saturn opposition activating his natal Virgo Sun/Pisces Saturn opposition as pretty terminal in myocardial infarction terms," a WWC source said today.
"In the battle for voters' hearts and minds this is the karmic equivalent of crossing the Rubicon," the source continued.
The analogy describes Julius Caesar's 49BC fateful point of no return crossing of the Gaul/Italy boundary, widely interpreted at the time as a deliberate act of war.
At 71 McCain is seen by many WWC astrologers as a typically delusional Ronnie Raygun gung-ho psychotic, schmoozing a largely comatose GOP, still punch-drunk from Bush war rhetoric mass hypnosis.
"Trust us on this one," the Wiccan source added, "McCain is a mere also-ran."