White Sands, New Mexico - As Ron Paul continues to trail in the polls, followers now face the harsh reality that their man of great promise has little to nil chance of winning the Republican primary, let alone the 2008 presidency. Yet, they are showing no signs of throwing in the towel. Instead, they are encouraged by reports from the Southwest of the phenomena of the image of Ron Paul appearing on tortillas as a sign from Heaven to continue the good fight.
"I was an Obama supporter. I never even heard of Ron Paul," said Juan Rodriguez, a physician who volunteers at a local free medical clinic. "That was until this morning when I stopped off to pickup my breakfast burrito. While unraveling it, like I always do to put extra Chile sauce in it, I saw a miracle staring right back at me that made a Ron Paul supporter out of me…Oh, yeah, that and all those TheSpoof.com stories. I think that's his campaign headquarters."
Rodriguez reports initially seeing the image of the Virgin Mary appear in his breakfast burrito, but slowly the image of Ron Paul shined through his tortilla, surrounded in a radiant glow of golden melted cheese, sprinkled with green jalapeno pepper slices and red diced tomatoes.
"They struggled with each other for well over a minute," said Rodriguez. "First the Virgin Mary was on top then Ron Paul got her in a headlock. Then suddenly, just like that, the image of Ron Paul was staring right back at me and the imagine Virgin Mary was gone."
"We believe it's a sign from him [Ron Paul] that the election is not over, but it has merely escaped the earthly bounds of this world and slipped into that of the spiritual world beyond," said a Ron Paul supporter from the very same Rancho Santa Fe, California mansion that the Heaven's Gate cult rented in the 1990s. "We are gathered here now to show our continued support to our beloved leader, even in the afterlife."
The devote group of Ron Paul supporters plan to go on ahead of the campaign like always and canvas. However, the only difference is that this time the final destination is Heaven.
"We have no choice really," said a Ron Paul supporter. "Because we already tried that other place, and quite frankly, that hasn't worked like we thought. But we got a special delegate working on getting his soul back at least, so it should all even out in the end. Personally, I don't even miss mine, no matter what the others are saying about theirs."
Ron Paul supporters hope that their sacrifice will not be in vane and will win the support there from various angels and saints that have not made up their mind about or even heard of Ron Paul.
Winning their supernatural support for their beloved candidate back on earth would not necessarily prove useful, however, caution political scientists.
"Having God on your side dose not necessarily translate into a political win," said Bill Harkens, political scientist at the Cassandra Institute of Political Foresight. "If it did, there would be no need for the Lord's Prayer, Easter or continuous calls for peace in the Middle east. In order for that kind of victory to occur, it has to happen on an individual bases first."