Written by Warren Redlich
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Wednesday, 6 February 2008

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Ron Paul marches on toward March

Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul vowed to continue his eclectic campaign after getting drubbed on Super Tuesday. Paul has managed to grab a stranglehold on fourth place in the delegate count in this 4-way race. CNN projects that he currently has 16 delegates, trailing Mike Huckabee who is in 3rd place with a 169.

Ron Paul campaign chair Kent Snyder disputed the numbers, insisting that their candidate actually has 23 delegates if they're counted properly, and Huckabee only has 157. Snyder pointed to Paul's breakout numbers in states like Nevada, Minnesota, Alaska, Montana, Maine and North Dakota, where his numbers were into double digits and even over 20%. Paul earned 2nd place in both Nevada and Montana as well.

Ron Paul himself seemed upbeat Wednesday morning. He claimed that "the message is reaching more and more people. If it keeps going like this, we will start winning states in early March. And so, we march on!" His last words were followed by a roar of applause from an audience of thousands outside his home in Galveston Texas. Following that roar was the even more deafening sound of keyboards being clicked.

FOX News continued its blackout of Ron Paul with other major media outlets agreeing that, since Paul has yet to break 30% or win a state anywhere, "he's just a wingnut," according to a FOX News spokesman who refused to release his name for fear of being blogged.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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