Rev. Marcus Dee Williams of Bethany First Baptist Church in Biloxi, Mississippi, told reporters today that Barack Obama needs to "put some color" into his speeches.
"Barack is the whitest black man I've ever seen," said the reverend. "He needs to work on his message to the 'brothers.' I sent him a book of 'yo momma jokes so he can include a joke in his speeches now and then."
The president of the NAACP also expressed some concerns about Baracks' "blackness" and his ability to speak for the black race. "We have developed a color chart, very much like you would see in a paint store - if you don't fit into the color chart - you won't be taken seriously."
"Barack is not interested in speaking for the "black" race. His message is for all the people," one supporter said. If he had a drug conviction, an illegitimate child or a prison record, would that make him more acceptable? Republicans have come up with every kind of rumor, one could imagine from him being a high priest in the "Son's of the Naughty One" church, to having spent every summer vacation since childhood in a nudist colony - what are you gonna do? By the way, did you know that he sucked his thumb as a child?"
(Just what do they colonize in a nudist colony? Maybe some questions should never be asked - better yet - never answered.)