George W Bush won his eighth consecutive Highspend Trophy today, with a $3 Trillion budget including over $400 Billion in new debt.
"We are proud to be on his team," said fellow Republican Mitch McConnell "His record high spending includes more than 8% more for the war profiteers that fund our Party, while freezing payments to hospitals and other health care providers. Instead of budgeting more to allow for inflation and population increases, we will let the natural forces of evolution take care of the sickly. It's nature's way!"
George's style of play included aggressive attacks on spending to help ordinary Americans. "We cannot afford clean water and health care for all American children," he explained, "We have a lot of bombing to do, and it's not cheap recording all that traffic on the internets."
Bush's style of play included some cost savings, such as withholding the customary paper copies of his budget to members of Congress and the media. "Let Congress print its own copies," said White House Spokesbarbie Dana Perino "That way, the toner comes out of their budget, not ours."
"George has set a high standard," said fellow Republican John McCain "But I hope to beat his record, even if it takes me 100 years in Iraq."
In related news, earthquakes were recorded throughout the American southwest. "That's just Barry Goldwater," said a seismologist, "He's spinning in his grave again."