White House, Washington AC/DC - (Shaggy Dog Ass): Lucky First Dog Barney is set to become the first presidential pooch to celebrate GOP Super Tuesday hopes with his very own inaugural brazilian wax.
White House rumors say that George Bush himself will do the honors, eschewing wax for a secret formula hidden behind his very own lips.
Barney is to get the waxing equivalent of a stars 'n' stripes tattoo on his butt.
"Normally you'd need a jar of WalMart Premium Doggiewax and all the strips," a White House poodle parlor spokeswoman said today.
"Fortunately we've installed a high-tech laser machine in the parlor that etches any design you want on the target area of choice. This is painless and imprints a canine butt with your favorite design.
"All the President then has to do is activate his secret formula while we hold down the pooch, apply his tongue like a Doggiewax spatula and hey presto! All the fur simply comes away, better than a canine depilatory.
"We're thinking of patenting the procedure."