Written by improvman
Print this
Topics: McDonalds, Sauce

Tuesday, 20 April 2004

image for Remains of McDonalds CEO Jim Cantalupo will be added to Big Mac's Special Sauce

In accordance with his last request, recently deceased McDonalds CEO Jim Cantalupo will be cremated, and his remains will be added to the Big Mac's special sauce.

Newly appointed CEO Charlie Bell said, "I don't see what the big deal is. We always use human remains in our special sauce. People accuse us of using thousand island dressing, but we don't. Special sauce consists of ketchup, vinegar, rat droppings, lead paste, and human remains. What do you mean I wasn't supposed to reveal the secret recipe? Let go of me. I'm the CEO, I can say what I want. SECRET SAUCE IS PEOPLE! IT'S PEOPLE!"

It is likely that Bell will be asked to resign. It is unclear whether Vice President of Marketing Grimace, or Chief Financial Officer Hamburgler will be offered the position.

Make improvman's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 2 multiplied by 2?

2 13 10 4
49 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more