Former singing star Britney Spears was whisked away from her Los Angeles home in an ambulance today, amid rumours that she cannot cope without the support of her vagina, which yesterday announced that it was retiring from public life.
Ms Spears, 26, was thought to have experienced a "mood swing" just after midnight, and was admitted, along with her vagina, to the UCLA medical center, where doctors said she was "pathetic but stable".
Ms Spears most public private part took the extraordinary step of retiring after coming under intense media pressure, as a result of constant public attention. It indicated that it had spoken to lawyers, and that it might seek a legal separation from the singer.
Only this week, US talk show host Barbara Walters revealed that Spears had seen a psychiatrist over "mental issues" giving rise to speculation that she was now mental.
She also said that Spears was prone to "seeking attention" through increasingly non-devious means, and calling paramedics after a drink and a mood swing might satisfy her craving for the limelight for a little while longer.
Medical staff said no fans whatsoever had showed up at the center to offer support to the failing star.