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Topics: Sex, Ass, FCC, NYPD

Monday, 28 January 2008

image for FCC Rules Butt Is Sexual Organ
Who wouldn't want a piece of this?

The Federal Communications Commission has ruled that "the human buttocks are a sexual organ" in a landmark decision against the television show NYPD Blue. In a case dating back to 2004, the FCC fined the network $27,500 for each of the 52 television stations in the Central and Mountain time zones that showed a controversial episode in "prime time" (the show aired at 10:00 p.m. in the Eastern and Pacific time zones).

In the episode in question, a female's naked buttocks was seen. When asked how seeing a woman's rear end differed from seeing that of star Dennis Franz, who had exposed his behind in earlier episode, FCC spokesman Greg Alexander offered the following:

"There is obviously nothing sexual about a short, fat, bald, old man and his hairy ass. Even if you are a gay male, you don't chase after short, fat, balding, and old."

"When you see the smooth, shapely behind of a young, fit, hot, trim woman, however, you say that you want to get a piece of ass!"

"While the actress in question may not have used her posterior as a sexual organ, we do not know her personal preferences or fetishes, it was displayed that way in the television episode."

The Network argued that the buttocks are not a sexual organ and are not used in any way in the act of sexual intercourse, but found their defense shot down by Judge Bruce "Fudgepacker" Swishy. "I wouldn't say that. Mine gets worn out every night, especially when my life partner and I go down to the YMCA and play drop the soap in the showers."

Actor Dennis Franz was upset by the statement from the FCC. "Hey, lots of them faggots check out my ass. They all want a piece of me. I'd be the most popular man in the cellblock if I were on the inside right now."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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