Written by Monkey Woods
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Tuesday, 29 January 2008

image for Britney Spears' Vagina To Retire From Public Life With Immediate Effect
The vagina is putting its feet up

Britney Spears vagina, for so long an icon in the world of pop music and art, and just about the only part of the star that anyone is really interested in anymore, is to retire from public life, and to take a well-earned rest.

Ms Spears has been through a torrid time during the last twelve months, and has been glad of the support her vagina has given her, in keeping her face out of public view. Now, however, the vagina is exhausted, wrinkled and dry, and, say doctors, "in urgent need of recuperation".

Immortalised by noted satirical website writers such as Buck E. Filbert of TheSpoof.com, the vagina has taken the pressure off Britney's ailing career and failing marriage, and wallowed in its own glorious rise to fame and fortune. Today, though, a spokesman told reporters:

"It's had enough. A gash can only do so much. It's up to Britney to save herself without relying on her snatch."

Ms Spears' advisors are upset about the move, and, at the time of writing, were in a hastily-convened meeting to try to find another part of her anatomy that the public might show more than a passing interest in, to keep her in the public domain without actually having to sing again.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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