Wombtown, AL - (Zygote Insider) Having exhausted every living hairbrained scheme, scam and shenanigan to woo the uninformed, undecided and uncaring to vote for her in the 2008 primary elections, wannabe women presidential candidate Hillary Clinton has gone where no political pretender has gone before: the womb.
Working with demented democrat think tankers and funded liberal lunatic George Soros, seriously sick scientists and politically incorrect Clinton campers are finalizing plans to make it possible to gain and count votes of the unborn.
Calling them "potential voters" who deserve the opportunity and the right to vote, the concept is to use MRIs and ultrasound readings to determine the political polarity of the prenatal placental population and so cast their votes pre- rather than post-humously. While the majority of these votes would be most likely to be employed during the primary elections, their votes would be again called into play once the little buggers are actually born. Results showing republican ramifications will be rejected. Really.
The practice of counting unborn votes has raised understandable questions on both, or all, sides of the intrauterine invasion of privacy. Pundits are readjusting their positions on whether the Clinton campaign now supports or rejects Roe v. Wade, since support would bring about assured abortion of hopes of increasing a segment of her voter base under development.
If the plot is hatched, the moral fiber of the United States may suffer its final desecration. Hillary will doubtless promote premarital promiscuity, group sex, prostitution and banishing birth control. Hillary has already crafted tax increases to cover the monumental increases anticipated in the national welfare rolls. She also plans to give Wal-Mart discount coupons for Pampers and Gerbers, provided the mothers-to-be swear that their little expecteds will be Clintonites before and after delivery.
To insure maximum conceptions, the Clinton Coop has drafted and is promoting a "No Sperm Left Behind" program which strongly discourages oral sex (swallowing), masturbation and premature withdrawal. Such practices are seen as purely prejudicial to any hope of Clinton ever being elected president of the United States of America or any other country naïve or apathetic enough to give her so much as the time of day.
Asked about her personal opinion about this shocking strategy, Ol´Hil was heard to quip, "Shoot, y'all, I hope he DID have sex with ALL those woman. And I hope they all got knocked up and carry those potential voters to full term so they can vote for me!"
The National Rifle Association has filed suit against the Clinton Campaign for its use of the acronym NRA, which the daffy democrat has been calling her new anti-birth control effort, No Rubbers Allowed.
Ms. Clinton´s new campaign slogan, to be seen soon on banners and bumper stickers from Boston to Bakersfield shouts, simply, "DO IT FOR ME!"