Written by rkcaughman
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Thursday, 24 January 2008

image for Ottumwa Iowa Man Produces Worlds Largest Stool
"I don't know how I did it"

A Spokesman for the Guinness Book of World Records, Sir Reginald Bottoms, announced today that a record for the largest stool ever produced by a single human being would go into their record books. "My god you should have seen that sucker, I had never seen a stool like that in my life. It even had "rest marks" clearly visible where he had stopped from time to time as he was producing it."

Clarence Loadmaster, a carpenter and wood worker who lives in Ottumwa was a bit more reserved than the excited Bottoms, and Loadmaster, told TheSpoof.com. "Well I guess not everyone knows what it takes to produce a huge stool. I mean just getting that thing out in the open took a lot of straining and I can tell you folks that more than once I considered just giving up and getting someone to help me get it out. I mean when you have a stool like that, heavy as it is,shaped like it is, and with the fumes and all, I was winded in more ways than one."

The carpenter was asked by Bottoms to share the most interesting elements of his monumental stool, Loadmaster said "I guess the multi faceted colors it has, it just really is something and you know several fellers can sit on it at once."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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