Written by rkcaughman
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Topics: California, Farting, Fire

Tuesday, 22 January 2008

image for Huge California Fire Erupts after Kids have Fart Lighting Contest
Reenactment of Kid's Farting Contest

Three San Diego youths were arrested in connection with a fire that apparently ignited while they were lighting farts in an apparent contest.

2500 acres have so far been consumed by the flames and 23 people were overcome by the fumes of the farts before the fire had spread very far.

The kids have been remanded to the custody of their parents while Fire Arson Investigators continue with a probe of the kids. Witnesses to the event said it "went very wrong, because the kids had been eating cans and cans of Wolf Brand Chili with beans about an hour before the event started."

Diego Santiago said once the kids had eaten the chili "ominous blue flames erupted" and it was like "Dante's Inferno." Santiago said he thought initially just the odor was going to be the disaster but after winds, whipped by the rushing air of the farts starting fanning the flames I knew that the fire would quickly spread. Others just out of sight of the contest had noted flashes of light and heard what they thought was the sound of a jet engine being tested.

The kids aged 14 and 15 were thought to be males and sons of Republican fathers and mothers because of the stupidity of the contest, but it was later learned that they were indeed offspring of Democrats, initially determined as the farts sounded strangely similar to farts of Donkeys.

FEMA has pledged again to come to the aid of the stricken Californians. A FEMA spokesperson said that they would quickly respond to Arnold Schwarzenegger's request for aid.

The only comment from the Governor was: "Farting in public and fart lighting contests themselves were illegal unless performed during festival related beer drinking contests associated with October Fest, and then only in his native Austria."

FEMA is planning on laying out the response and recovery components in a staged press conference, according to an official of FEMA who was pleading for anonymity. The White House Press Secretary, Dana Perino stated: "The president figured something like this was bound to happen as you can really get some big ole blue and green flames if you know what you're doing."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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