President Bush today revealed his plan to balance the budget by betting on the New England Patriots in this year's Super Bowl. The Patriots are a 13 and a half point favorite over the New York Giants.
"Anyone who knows anything about football is aware that a team can't score half points," Bush explained, "Therefore, there's absolutely no way we can lose."
"I may not have played football," said the former Yale cheerleader, "but I've watched plenty of games, and I've never seen anyone score 13 and half points. It's almost too simple!"
Reports that Bush also laid a side bet on the U.S. to achieve victory in Iraq could not be verified. Vegas oddsmakers have the U.S. listed as 3 and a half point underdogs.