Today President Bush announced during a press conference held at the White House that a distinguished English Surgeon, who holds dual citizenship in the United States, would take the helm of the Government's highest medical authority.
John Aiken Thomas-Johnson, of Bristol stood on stage with the President and heard inspiring words emanate from the US leader. "Today I am deeply honored to announce, that I can openly embrace an Aiken Thomas-Johnson. And I do totally have a profound feeling of satisfaction and awe for Johnson's obvious length, width, and breadth he brings to the Surgeon General's office."
The British born Johnson seemed a bit embarrassed by the proceedings and especially of the praise shown him by Bush, but characteristically was stoic if not stiff. Bush pledged that Aiken Thomas-Johnson "Will utilize his unusually endowed prowess in hands on solutions of troubling diseases especially those that are sexually transmitted.
"I will require Johnson to stop those individuals who pan handle themselves within the medical community, so we can finally stop the spiraling rise of firms, such as Johnson and Johnson."
Bush closed the ceremony by stating, "I've known the family for years and I have to admit, he certainly looks like a Johnson."
The new Surgeon General vowed daily to bring his own stringency and rigidity to the office.