Written by Everyman
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Sunday, 20 January 2008

image for Britney Spears is dating Princess Diana's butler
Britney is reportedly seeing Princess Diana's former butler

Britney Spears' meltdown took a new turn when it was revealed that she was dating publicity addict, Paul Burrell, Princess Diana's former butler.

Apparently the relationship started after Burrell was looking for his next shameful and grubby headline grabbing escapade. Hearing about Britney's problems, he waited until he had performed at Diana's inquest and boarded the next available trans Atlantic flight from Paris and went a wooing.

Finding the former Disney presenter in a drug fuelled daze, Burrell dazzled her with tales of his time fawning over Princess Diana. Britney was apparently impressed enough to go out for a night on the town with the elderly butler, which Burrell made sure was snapped up by photographers. In all the shots he had his traditional and nauseating facial expression of tortured patience.

Asked why he had been attracted by Britney, he said: "What can I say? I am drawn to damaged, vulnerable women who have the full glare of publicity on them and where I can make a mint."

Burrell's book - "All the secrets Britney told me" is due out next month.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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