Manhattan, NY - (Reuterus): Classified documents released by NATO military intelligence under the 30 year rule claim that the real George W Bush was pickled by New York mobsters in a 100 gallon vat of marker crude and buried under the Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis Reservoir in 1969.
He lies near his father, the real George Herbert Bush, who was also given a similar Mob send-off after Barbara Bush got an ultimatum by the Warren Commission of either joining Alcoholics Anonymous or ditching her drunken family enablers.
Declassified papers also offer a glimpse into the fraternal double-act that has since prevailed under the George Bush Senior and Junior re-incarnations.
The lurid details do nothing to allay NATO worst fears about their DNA connections to Hitler and his Pope, Pious the Fascist.
Both Bush Senior #2 and Bush Junior #2 are described as Cuban-born former KGB agents whose careers were spawned in the wake of Nikita Khruschev's megalomaniac aspirations to launch an atomic bomb at Florida during the Cuban missile debacle of John F Kennedy's presidency.
The documents make no mention of dredging or pumping out the Manhattan reservoir to fish out the bodies.
Barbara Bush is one sweet old lady.