Written by Unconfirmed Source
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Topics: White House, water

Wednesday, 14 April 2004

image for Water In White House Press Room Contaminated!
Mysteries explained?

Unconfirmed Sources report medroxyprogesterone - the drug used for chemical castration has been found in the White House Press Room water supply. The water provided by the White House for reporters has been found to contain high levels of the drug.

The drugs were discovered when a reporter visited his doctor to complain about his lack of drive and will to do his job. The reporter took a blood test and the drug was found in therapeutic amounts in his system

"I just felt like I was going through the motions. I just didn't care about reporting anymore. I believed what they told me and just repeated it to my editors. I felt like my head was wrapped in wool all the time. I was a sheep." Lamented the reporter.

Other White House reporters had been complaining of similar symptoms to their families and editors, but none had sought medical attention. They are now undergoing tests to determine their exposure to the chemicals. It is unclear how long the drugs have been in the water system, but one reporter thinks maybe a year or two at least.

The discovery of the drug in water given to the press aboard Air Force One raises further questions.

The White House denies any knowledge of how the drugs got into the water system and has asked John Ashcroft to investigate when he can find the time.

In the meantime the White House Press Corp has decided to supply its own food and water and not depend on the White House.

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