Written by Jalapenoman
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Thursday, 17 January 2008

image for President Bush Files Lawsuit Against Cartoon Character
Jiminy's relatives are up in arms over the news of the lawsuit

United States President George W. Bush did something today that no sitting American President has never done: he filed a lawsuit against and individual while still in office. Bush filed the suit against Disney caroon character Jiminy Cricket in Washington D.C. today.

The President claims that "I been doin' what he told me to do, and it ain't workin'. I been settin' her, just like he said in Pinnochio, and wishin' and I still don't get to be President for life."

In the paperwork filed today, attorneys for the President claim that Jiminy Cricket's song, "When You Wish Upon A Star," which contains the lyric: "Everything your heart desires will come to you" is a mis-representation of the truth and has caused George W. Bush irreparable psychological damage.

Disney attorney Ron Black was shocked when he heard of the legal action. "You've got to be joking," he said. "He's suing a cartoon insect for a song in a 50 year old movie because he can't be President for life? He needs to get a life!"

In a statement issued by a White House spokesman, Bush said that "We really need to make sure that Jiminy is in this country legally and has all of his papers up to date. I wouldn't want to have to squash him under the Patriot Act of somethin'. Since he's a cricket, he must be an English feller, and so I suspect he may be in cahoots with folks like them other English bug fellers (like The Beatles). Tony Blair would'a never let this happen if he was still runnin' things!"

In response, Rush Limbaugh and Fox News have called for a boycott of the movie Pinnochio.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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