Written by Chuck Terzella
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Topics: Texas, Easter

Monday, 12 April 2004

image for A Very Bush Easter
"Make it go away, make it go away, make it go away"

President George ( Kill em all, let God sort em out) Bush, emerging from a 5 days in hiding at his Ranch in Crawford, Texas yesterday acknowledged that "it was a tough week last week." Mr. Bush's characterization of seven days which saw more than 60 American military killed in violent clashes with Insurgents, the loss of Coalition control of several cities and towns, civilian kidnappings, fallout over Condoleezza Rice's testimony before the 9/11 Commission and continuously rising gas prices at home has left American's wondering what Mr. Bush would consider to be a really shitty week.

Unnamed White House Source Wegman (Pudgy) Waterhouse, speaking on the condition of anonymity said, " The President is committed to hanging tough, staying the course, remaining firm, blah, blah, blah. As a matter of fact, we are so committed to Iraq we have opened a whole new Cabinet level Department, the Office of Cliché's, that will come up with a new expression every week to describe both our determination to stay in that hell hole and to characterize the evil doers who are causing us such a pain in the ass. You know, like calling Jacques Chirac an Old European Frog."

President Bush also said he spent Easter praying that no more troops would be killed, which in the current situation seems to be about all anyone can do, given the Administrations complete lack of military or political strategy in the Middle East.

Waterhouse, speaking on the condition of more anonymity said, " If you look at it one way, this is really all the fault of the American People. I mean, they kinda almost elected George ( I'm right, you're an asshole) Bush in the first place so you all can just blame yourselves you whining pacifist pricks."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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