Written by Jalapenoman
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Thursday, 10 January 2008

image for Ted Kennedy Announces He Will Not Run For President (Again)
Ted Kennedy, in a rare, sober moment.

In the wake of the beginning of the primary/caucus season, Senator Ted Kennedy has made is usual announcement: "If nominated, I will not run. If elected, I will not serve."

The Senator has made that same announcement every four years since 1972, generally receiving as little fanfare as he will this election. In fact, the Democratic Party has offered to trade him to the Republican Party for a truckload of streamers and balloons (to be used at their convention this summer). So far, the Republicans have not issued a reply.

It should be noted that Kennedy did not receive a single write-in vote in New Hampshire or any of the other two states that have already begun the election process.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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