Written by Jalapenoman
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Thursday, 10 January 2008

image for Nevada Town Declares President Bush Disaster Area
The Nevada flooding run-off or the Oval Office?

A small town in Nevada ravaged by flooding has become the victim of the latest White House goof. Instead of receiving the assistance and funding that residence need to hold back the waters and rebuild after the storms, they are instead, apparently, responsible for sending F.E.M.A. and millions of dollars to assist George W. Bush.

When the President filled out the paperwork to authorize emergency aid and relief to the town, he put a few things in the wrong place. Instead of declaring the town a disaster area, he has the town declaring him a disaster area. He, of course, signed it before noting the error of his ways. As there is no more money for flood relief in the federal budget, he cannot send them the proper aid.

Monica Gonzalez, head of the White House laundry, says that the President needs the money anyway. "You should see his sheets every morning! Aye Dios Mio! You'd think he had a big gulp every night before bed. I don't know how Laura has managed to sleep with him all of these years and never get any on her nightgowns! We have to put in a new mattress every six weeks. This flood relief money is just what we need in the the White House. Why do you think he sleeps every other night in the Lincoln bedroom?"

Her explanation offered credence to the belief that the man known as "Dubya" suffers not only from incompetence, but also from incontinence.

County Sheriff Matt Greenwald of the distressed area was not amused. "I don't see how giving our money to help the President with his bed wetting problem is gonna be of help to the United States or the citizens of Nevada. They outta give him plastic sheets and nothing to drink after dinner like you do with little kids with that condition. That won't cost millions."

"People whose homes have washed downstream don't care if their President tinkles in his bed and can't control his wee wee. They need a roof over their heads."

Republican party officials could not be reached for comment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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