Written by queen mudder
Print this

Sunday, 6 January 2008

image for January skies: destroying Hillary
Hilary: should have read the right horoscope before opening her big mouth

New Hampshire - (Bad Ass Mess): As Tuesday's Capricorn New Moon blazes a trail across a magnificent Sun, Jupiter and Mercury conjunction the people of New Hampshire stand poised on the pivotal crossroads of hystery ready to crush the monstrous construct who has dedicated most of her adult life to enacting the role of Hillary Rodham Clinton.

Born the bastard spawn of President Lyndon B Johnson's philanderings with a pre-pubescent Madeleine Albright, Susan Johnson took on the ID and persona of the Arkansas-based Rose Law Firm's great spousal dissembler after her KGB counterpart and cold war plant conveniently found shelter under the identity of William Jefferson Clinton.

The Warren Commission had been especially kind during her formative years when, addled with a heady cocktail of recreational ambitions, Johnson struggled with vestiges of conscience not to name George Bush Junior as JFK's assassin on that fateful day in Dallas on 22 November 1963.

Becoming Hillary couldn't have been easier but took the best part of another 20 years with the help of the Osteoporosis Division of the Skull 'N' Bones.

Bribing respective matrimonial siblings Hugh Rodham and Roger Clinton was a cinch. As was turning a blind eye to the Little Rock grave where the real Hillary Rodham was eventually interred after a fateful confrontation of some of her worst matrimonial suspicions about husband 'Bill'.

The Whitewater land deal marks the spot where Hilary #1 - and eventually Chelsea #1 - met their final resting place.

Thus the power-crazed cold-war chimaera was subtly spawned.

And now with a presidential whore-chest groaning under the weight of some $80 million the good people of New Hampshire are the latest target.

Alas. It's a pity she didn't consult Nancy Reagan's astrologer before investing so much of her gargantuan ego into the first Primary of 2008 on this, the year's first most fateful astrological day.

For the seismic fault-lines that riddle Johnson's star-chart show New Hampshire to be the seat of personal nemesis.

Meanwhile back in DC fearless lawman and Justice Department Special Prosecutor Patrick FitzGerald smiles the broadest smile since publicly nailing Scooter Libby as a lying, cheating Bush Administration douchebag.

A recent covert trail of brand new evidence in the outing of ex-CIA agent Valerie Plame has secretly re-opened his earlier investigation.

All the facts point to Hillary's 'arrangement' with ex-NSA adviser and classified document shredder Sandy Berger.

2008 could be one helluva year for the Rule of Law.

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 4 multiplied by 2?

4 8 3 17
53 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more