Written by rewinn
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Topics: Jesus, Pentagon, US Army, Thor

Tuesday, 8 January 2008

image for Pentagon to replace Jesus with Thor, Zeus
Aphrodite proves popular with the troops, but impaired operational efficiency

Washington, DC - The Department of Defense is experimenting with replacing Jesus as an element of basic training in favor of more warlike deities, such as Thor and Zeus.

"We have nothing against the Prince of Peace," said the religious consultant in charge of the program (speaking on condition of anonymity), "But Christianity's emphasis on honesty and non-aggression is incompatible with our invasion of Iraq and plans to bomb anywhere else we want."

Consultants initially recommended replacing Jesus with Aphrodite, after an extended personnel interview with the goddess Herself. "Regrettably," said the consultant "While Aphrodite gave a rigorous training ritual, all the male troops feel asleep afterwards."

Testing is now underway comparing the Norse and Roman pantheons. Replacing in the Lord of Peace with a God of War is due to be implemented in FY2013.

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