Written by Robert W. Armijo
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Zoo, Tigers

Thursday, 3 January 2008

image for Tiger victims victimized for a second time by zoo officials
San Francisco Tiger victims victimized all over again by Zoo officials

San Francisco, California - Zoo officials adamantly deny that they attempted to cover-up their failure to adhere to safety standards when they first went public after the tiger incident that an outside independent report was at fault for failing to point out that their retaining wall surrounding the Tiger enclosure was several feet below safety standards. Now the same zoo officials deny that they are currently engage in a smear and mud slinging PR campaign against the serving Tiger victims.

"Look we're not questioning the legal status of the dead boy and injured young men or saying it should be brought into question here," said Zoo officials. "Only that it should not be ruled out is all that we are saying. I mean all our cats have their shoots and papers in order. Why should we ask the same of the alleged tiger victim is all we're saying?"

Zoo officials argue that the legal status of the "alleged" tiger victims be determined before the investigation is allowed to continue any further.

"If it can be proven that the alleged tiger victims were here illegally," said zoo officials. "Public outrage over the incident would quickly turn in our favor in the current mob rule mentality of unreasonable hatred of illegal Mexican aliens, anyone with a Spanish surname or dark skin complexion."

As previously reported, Zoo officials attempted to blame the independent reviewing committee's report for failing to cite zoo officials for building the retaining wall surrounding the tiger enclave at the proper required height.

"We're simply saying that it is the oversight by the independent reviewing committee that failed to catch our mistake of not building the wall high enough to prevent the incident from occurring to begin with. Therefore, fault for the incident clearly rests with them. That' all we're saying," said zoo officials.

"Look we're also not saying that we are responsible for the death and injury to Mexican nationals, or other illegal aliens, that have overrun our borders, violating our laws and having their drunken piƱata whacking Catholic fiestas," said zoo officials. "Just that if they weren't here that day at the zoo, they would still be safe, sleeping under a cactus somewhere in Mexico."

Make Robert W. Armijo's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 plus 5?

8 6 19 13
69 readers are online right now!

Go to top