President George W. Bush has declared that the year that starts on January 1st will not be known as 2008 in the United States. Instead, it will be known as 2007B.
White House Spokesman Phil Bertnut issued the following statement from the President:
"I am supposed to leave office in 2009 and I am not done yet, so I'm gonna have to just put that off for a little while. If I make this next year into 2007B, then a lot of good things will happen. Just think about these for a minute:
- You aren't going to have to void any checks because you accidentally list the wrong year.
- Women won't have to lie about their ages because they won't be a year older.
- Traffic will be better, as no new teens will be old enough to get a license and a lot of old people will still die.
- You'll make more money this year than you ever have in your whole life.
- 2007 styles will still be in fashion, so everyone doesn't need to buy a whole bunch of new clothes.
- You can use the same edition of the Farmer's Almanac
- All of the new idiots running for office will spend all their money and you won't have to listen to Hillary of Obama any more.
- You get to keep me as your president!"
"Oh, and I forgot the most important one: there won't be any more hunting seasons for Dick Cheney!"