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Monday, 24 December 2007

image for Hillary Clinton in makeup scandal
Hillary arrives at the DC Marriot without makeup or false teeth, according to Republicans

Aspiring presidential candidate and New York senator Hillary Clinton accidentally attended a Democratic fundraiser at the Washington, DC Marriot last night dressed in dowdy clothes and without her make-up and false teeth revealing her to be an ugly and wretched beast, according to Republicans at the scene.

"She's hideous", said Christian Conservative Republican Mike Huckabee. "I would swear she's a consort of the devil! If Americans vote for her they will be dooming themselves to Armageddon"

Huckabee claims that the Biblical Book of Revelations declares that the anti-Christ will appear before them as something beautiful with promises of salvation whereas, in reality, he/she is incredibly ugly and will bring widespread suffering thus damning all but devout Republican Christian Baptists in the world to hell.

Former Massachusetts governor and devout Mormon Mitt Romney was equally offended by the make-upless Hillary. "If my wife looked like that I would drown her in the bath tub and cast her body into the fire!" Romney exclaimed. "She is destined to bring about the end times if Americans vote for her!"

Republican/Libertarian candidate Texas congressman Dr. Ron Paul was the only sympathetic Republican voice. "She appears to have some sort of undiagnosed liver ailments and possible alcohol problems. We should remove her involuntarily from the campaign and put her in rehab!"

Hillary left the fundraiser without saying a word only to return 20 minutes later smartly dressed and with her makeup and false teeth in place.

"I just arrived", Ms Clinton said defensively. "I don't know who that woman was that the Republicans are screaming about!"

Some Democrats claimed that the woman who left earlier was a homeless woman who simply wandered in off the street. Unbiased Fox News correspondents are investigating.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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