Written by King David
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Topics: Democrats

Saturday, 22 December 2007

image for Biden, Clinton, Dodd, Edwards, Gravel, Kucinich, Obama and Richardson pose for calendar guys + 1 Democratic presidential candidate calendar
Clinton, who got a peek at Obama's "thing" during shooting of the calendar, shows everyone what she saw

Democratic front-runners, in an inclusive effort to raise campaign money and lighten up the political discussion, decided to pose for a calendar which has been dubbed the Democratic front-runner presidential candidate calendar guys + 1, 2008 edition.

In an effort to publicize their most important campaign issue, candidates were asked to choose a pose that in some way communicated their political message.

Joe Biden, to publicize his effort in the Iraq war and have American soldiers withdrawn, but still maintaining peace in the region wore only a pistol holster, a police cap and white gloves and stood between two men, one Shiite, the other, Sunni and appeared to be directing traffic.

Hilary Rodham Clinton, chose to publicize her stance on health care of course and is pictured wearing a candy stripper outfit with black garders and fish-net hose administering a rectal themometor to a beleagured, yet blissfully married Dennis Kucinach.

Christopher Dodd, as many Americans know, wants a balanced budget and so chose to pose naked with only a scale placed strategically in front of him. To call attention to the unfair burden of taxes placed on the middle class, there is a man dressed in work boots and blue jeans representing the working class on one side of the scale, and a man dressed in a tailored, gray suit representing the upper class on the other. The scale is unfairly tipped to the side of the working class.

John Edwards, courting the working class again, took off his blue jeans and $400.00 haircut, and posed wearing only a toolbelt over his tool. He also appears to have several tatoos in the photo. But publishers of the calendar are not revealling whether the tattoos are real, or just painted on.

Dennis Kucinich, aside from posing with a rectal themometer in his bum, was the only candidate to go full-monty. Kuchinich chose to publicize the extraordinary and extra-terrestrial. He was photographed standing on a milk crate beside an alien with a mystical opal ring around his you-know-what. Unfortunately for Elizabeth, his you-know-what was fully erect. Still, he managed a smile.

In an effort of comparison and to portray experience, Barak Obama used the opportunity to don a fake Moses beard and wearing only a loin cloth, stand next to the Lincoln memorial in Washington D.C.

Bill Richardson, chose to play up his Hispanic roots and court the immigrant vote. His pose involved holding a castenet over his maraca as he stood next to a mariachi band.

Mike Gravel, in an effort just to fundraise, posed as a male stripper with one-dollar bills tucked into his g-string.

Proceedes from the calendar will be divided equally amongst each candidate as candidates who are not front-runners in the overall election may chose to have their earnings diverted to support another of the same party.

Sales of the calendar have been reported meager at best.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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