DeMoines, Iowa (UPI) In an astounding announcement from the Clinton Campaign, Bill Clinton, former Democratic President of the United States, revealed that he is registering as a Republican and will seek the Republican nomination for President of the United States.
The candidate stated: "You know, I was with Hill this weekend and I was in the supermarket with her and Magic Johnson and I was by the melons and it just came to me, I've to get back in the running again." Clinton then stated, "I haven't told Hill yet, but it will be ok, she is used to me disappointing her."
When Senator Hillary Clinton (Dem, NY) was asked to comment she had a stricken look on her face and stated, "I knew I shouldn't have let him wander off like that in the store. I looked around and he was gone. I can't take my eyes off of him for one minute before he...well, you guys know what I mean."
Former President Clinton stated that when nominated ("Hell if I can't beat those bunch of moral reprobates I may as well get out of the game!") he would select his new best friend George Walker Bush as his running mate. "What a powerhouse team we would make, him with his secret meetings with the Bilderberg group and me with their wives!"
Clinton admitted that the main reason that he wanted to recapture the world's most powerful office was that his sex life was tapering off as of lately and that "you got more places to hide in the White House than you can shake a stick at, and I know them all, and women are attracted to me because of the shape of my nose."
The Attorney General Mukasey was questioned as to the legality of the proposal by Clinton replied, "I don't know enough about waterboarding to know if it is legal.It depends on what the term "legal" means. I just don't know. We are investigating whether it is legal to destroy evidence of crimes by the CIA. That is an internal investigation that will be whitewashed in time. Please, gentleman, one controvery at a time, please! Clinton? Never heard of her."
Senator Clinton, who has banned the color blue from her wardrobe, stated that it would be an "interesting race. I hope Obama gets it and creams Bubba. I'm taking no sides in this."