Lake Jackson, Texas Dec17th 2007: (Ass.Mess.) Dr Ron Paul, prospective president of America and running mate of Hilary Clitoris told In Seine News that he has some good news for America which will guarantee them to remain world leaders provided that they choose him for President..
He was sitting on the John late last night, typing the latest campaign strategy on his laptop when his wife shouted downstairs;
"Ron dearest, there's someone to see you. Calls himself, Mr Deville, from Worldwide Underground Heating Services Inc."
"Keep him there, a've almost finished! I'll be up in a minute darling" he hollered.
Beelzebub himself appeared before him. The Devil said to the congressman,
"I have a proposition for you. You can win every election you enter hands down, I'll guarantee that you'll even be President of the US for the rest of your life. Every citizen of your country will adore you, your colleagues will stand in awe of you, and you will make embarrassing sums of money."
"All I want in exchange is your soul, your wife's soul, your mistress's soul, your children's souls, your grandchildren's souls, the souls of your parents, grandparents, and parents-in-law, and the souls of all of your friends and numerous exotic pets which include a threesome of Gerboas."[/i]
The Dr stopped tapping on his keyboard, looked at the Prince of Darkness into his glowing red eyes for a moment, and then asked,
"So, what's the catch?"