Written by Rotten Apple
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Monday, 17 December 2007

image for 'Life in New Jersey' to Replace Death Penalty

TRENTON - New Jersey Governor Jon Corzine is outlawing the death penalty in the Garden State. "We are replacing capital punishment with 'Life in New Jersey' without the possibility of parole. Capital punishment is a piece of cake compared to having to spend the rest of your life here in New Jersey," said Corzine.

Until recently, death row inmates here were spared the indignity of spending the rest of their life in hell-hole New Jersey breathing noxious fumes and drinking polluted water.

"I'd rather get a lethal injection -- or even the electric chair -- than get 'Life in New Jersey' without the possibility of parole, you know what I'm saying?" said one rapist-murderer on New Jersey's death row.

"Even if they gave me HBO, the Pleasure Channel, weekly conjugal visits, and extra mashed potatoes for the rest of my life, I'd rather be hanged than stay here in New Jersey. This state really sucks!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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