Written by Robert W. Armijo
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Sunday, 16 December 2007

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Two-thousand and seven so bad Guinness Book of Records opened up a new category for recalled consumer product lines

London, England - Contaminated wheat gluten in dog food; lead based paint in toys; spinach tainted with E. coli; peanut butter; Veggie Booty Health Snacks; fish; hamburger meat; frozen pizza; pot pies; children vaccines and the list goes on and on for so many recalls this year. So many that Guinness Book of Records has opened up a new category especially for recalled consumer product lines in anticipation of next year's record-breaking recalls.

For now, however, officials at the Guinness Book of Records have declared 2007 the record breaking winner, surpassing all previous years for recalls before, though not officially recorded until now.

"We are so confident in the accuracy of our researchers that we have declared the year of 2007 as the winner of recalls hands down," said a spokesman for Guinness.

A cautionary word, however. By the same token, Guinness officials say that their very same researchers predict that the current 2007 recall record may not last long.

"According to our computer models," said Guinness official. "If the statistical tread holds up of governments turning a blind eye to carrying out their sworn elected duty to serve the people they represent, so greedy corporations can increase their profits at the expense of the safety and welfare of their customers, next year will make 2007 look like amateur hour on open microphone night at the local comedy club."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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