Prince Charles is known to have the ability to talk to plants and he has many interesting conversations with them on evenings when Camilla is 'not in the mood'.
One night, George W. Bush is so worried about the federal budget crisis that he can't get to sleep, so he gets up and goes for a jog in the moonlight.
As he passes the Lincoln Memorial, he wonders,
"What would Honest Abe have done in this situation?"
So he kneels down in front of Lincoln's statue and says,
"Oh Lincoln, Lincoln, I want to do what is best for the country, but I don't know what that is."
And sure enough, Dubya hears a disembodied voice coming from within the monument, saying,
"Go to the theater."