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Wednesday, 12 December 2007

image for Mike Huckabee claims his God is better than Mitt Romney's God; Ron Paul stays silent
Romney wants everyone to be Mormon so they can smile and have great hair like him

Former southern Baptist preacher turned Arkansas governor turned aspiring presidential candidate Mike Huckabee claimed today that Former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney's Mormon God is inferior to his southern Baptist God.

"Romney's God is just a load of crap", Huckabee stated. "Everyone knows that Mormons are just a bunch of morons with an 'm' in the middle. My God hates morons. My God is really big, tall, muscular and broad shouldered. He could take down Romney's little pussy God any day".

Romney strongly disputed Huckabee's assertions. "MY God is the real deal. He came to Joseph Smith in a vision. Huckabee's faith didn't have a vision. Also, my God has a wife! Not like that homosexual God Huckabee worships!".

"When I am elected president I will make Jesus my vice-president and replace the Constitution with the Bible! I will bring this world its true destiny!" Huckabee firmly resolved in an apparent reference to Armageddon.

"I will make everyone a Mormon so we can all have nice smiles and great hair", a smiling, well-coiffed Romney countered.

Meanwhile, former New York Governor Rudy Giuliani strongly maintained that he alone worshipped the correct external deity and claimed that God and Jesus are devout Catholics. "God had sex with the Virgin Mary when she was only 13", Giuliani stated.

Republican Challenger Texas congressman Ron Paul was strangely silent on his Lutheran roots and did not express an opinion one way or the other.

"What kind of man doesn't want to defend his God?" Huckabee asked. "He's not fit to lead a boy scout troop never mind a nation! Where's his JESUS??? He should be drummed out of the party!!!"

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