The Spoof has the scoop. John Kerry has chosen his vice presidential running mate. It is none other than hotel heiress and sexy socialite, Paris Hilton.
"I am like, uh, so honored to be chosen for this. It sure isn't the Simple Life or a sex video, but I think I can do this. I really do. Thank you all so much," a friend of mine who does a really great Paris Hilton imitation said today.
But, why Paris, why now?
"Well, we just felt it was time for Senator Kerry to move in a more youthful direction. With Paris as his running mate, he is sure to get the male vote from ages 18 to 49. Beyond 49 is just sick, anyway. That's too old," A teenage girl posted to a forum on a major web site.
Does it matter to anyone that this is unconstitutional?
"Not really. No one has read the Constitution, have they? It's not web-enabled and not interactive, so who cares," some Star-Trek watching, dude who works in IT said today.
Calls to both Paris and Senator Kerry got quick hang-ups. Stay tuned to the Spoof for more announcements as we make up the information.