Des Moines, Iowa -- Mike Huckabee's campaign mobile finally made it across the State line into Iowa today, but not before getting lost and running out of gas along a desolate stretch of rural highway.
"It was a long trip from Hope Arkansas," Huckabee campaign spokesperson, Alice Stewart, stated for a local radio station reporter who was tipped off by locals of the situation. "But hey, to look on the bright side, most of us needed to pee anyway, so, this gave us an opportunity to get out, stretch our legs a bit, and greet some of the locals out in the fields," Stewart reassured the reporter.
As for the driver of the Huckabee campaign mobile, Billy Bob Davis, he stated that he must have taken a wrong turn somewhere around the Iowa State line, although he wasn't altogether sure where. "Well, I knew we was prolly gettin' a little low on oil and gas and maybe some transmission fluid," Davis explained, "but I thought we done had more gas than that." Davis also noted, "Last time we done this, she ran hot on us on the Interstate. But, we always got us some water on board, so you know, we just waited awhile and got back on the road."
All in all, the Huckabee campaign mobile was stranded for nearly 9 hours. "We couldn't get anybody to stop for us," complained one anonymous campaign aide, "I felt like some cheap hooker on the side of the road -- God, I swear that was the worst experience of my life. And to make matters worse, that friggin Ron Paul Blimp flew right over us! Sheeeze!"
Another extremely frustrated campaign aide lamented, "It's happened again -- I hate that thing!" pointing to the Huckabee campaign mobile. "Just look at it. I hate it I hate it I hate it! I absolutely hate that... that thing!"
Inconspicuously, other than the Jesus Saves! bumper sticker, the campaign mobile itself exhibited no signs of its significance. It wasn't until Mike Huckabee himself grabbed a campaign sign and stood in the middle of the road before someone finally stopped and offered assistance. "Well, my first reaction was, that looks just like Mike Huckabee -- what the...?" explained a local farmer. "Sure enough, that's who it was. It's the damnedest thing I've ever seen."
After siphoning off a few gallons of gas and borrowing 4 quarts of tractor oil, the Huckabee campaign mobile was back on track for Des Moines. "Mike -- all of them -- was very appreciative," exlained the farmer. "I just gave 'em some gas and oil -- and threw in an old map, and they were back on the road again."