In a speech delivered from the Oval Office today, President George W. Bush pounded the podium in front of him and threatened to hold his breath until his face turned blue if Congress doesn't give him all the money he wants for the war in Iraq.
"They won't give me the money for my war," he shouted. "They want to spend money on special interest projects like healthcare for children, but not on really important things - like the war."
"They talk about how badly veterans are treated after they are discharged from the military," Bush continued. "Well, I'm concerned with what is happening right now, not something that might happen afterwards. I'm a realist - I look at things the way they really are."
Bush became increasingly agitated as he spoke. "It's my war," he said as he pounded the podium. "I started it and I want to finish it." Then he said he would hold his breath until turning blue if he doesn't get all the war funding he has asked for. "This is important," he said. "We cannot afford to lose. We must win, no matter what the cost."