Written by Hunzy
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Saturday, 24 November 2007

image for Greeter Sleeps In On Black Friday
No greeter, no cry.

Denver, (AP) - Hundreds of shoppers lined up in front of a Wal-Mart were dismayed and shocked to find the store had not opened at 4:00 AM as expected on Black Friday. Apparently, the greeter who was to open the store forgot to show up to work.

"We've had a problem lately with our greeters experiencing senility," remarked Wal-Mart General Manager Reggie Banks. Wal-Mart once had a cut throat policy that if a greeter forgot to show up to a shift he was fired on the spot, but since the new Democrat Congress passed the "No Senior Left Behind Act" Wal-Mart has not been able to let go of greeters so easily. Banks also commented, "Our greeters either forget to set their alarms the night before or our too hard of hearing to hear their alarms go off in the morning."

Angered shoppers erupted into a mob that broke into the Wal-Mart and had to be contained by the Denver County Police. "I got up at 1:30 this morning and wasted a tank of gas to get my discount weed whacker and IPOD Shuffler Hustler," screamed an irate customer who was arrested by Police.

The greeter who forgot to show up to work commented on the day by saying, "People take everything for granted. When you get my age you're just happy if you wake up to see another day. Wait, did I forget to turn off the oven last night?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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