An emergency Whitehouse announcement has been scheduled for 6pm on Sunday evening after an iceberg floating in the sea off Alaska started listing badly, putting millions of peoples' lives at risk, as well as their cars.
The iceberg, measuring 186 miles by 27 miles, and weighing 168 trillion tonnes, had been floating at a rate of 1.3 knots in the Bering Strait, almost halfway between Cape Dezhnev in Russia and Cape Prince of Wales on the Alaskan coast.
Last Thursday, however, a team of International Iceberg Inspectors (III), who were monitoring the situation, reported that the mass was "keeling over", and forecast that it was "likely to sink on Monday".
Environmental experts say that icebergs don't normally sink, preferring instead to slowly melt away, but when this one does on Monday, it will displace an amount of water large enough to submerge most of the Eastern seaboard of the United States, as well as some areas in Russian territory.
President George W. Bush will make the announcement on national TV tomorrow (Sunday) at 6pm, in which he will urge everyone living within 200 miles of Eastern coastlines to abandon their homes, leaving their possessions, and get to higher ground.
All old and infirm people should be left behind; a special Genocide Squad will dispose of them humanely.
This is the first of many such 'freaks of nature' that, it is expected, will occur in the coming years as a result of the effects of Global Warming.
This reporter urges everyone to listen to the President's broadcast tomorrow, and to heed the warning carefully.