Written by TheOneLaw
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Monday, 19 November 2007

In a surprising development, Walgreens has announced that supporters of Ron Paul are now banned from shopping in the 6059 Walgreens stores across the country.

As Walgreens begins implementing a massive counter terrorism surveillance system to prevent the store from being used as a one-stop source for terrorists nationwide, management has come to the decision that they needed to eliminate the portion of their customer base that CNN's Glen Beck describes as a rising threat to America.

In response to the fear that ordinary Americans will now become car-bombers and suicide bombers buying their deadly warez at Walgreens, management has decided to employ RedShirts (Republican Youth) to help identify known supporters of the rogue candidate for President of the United States.

The Republican Youth that Walgreens will employ will be dressed in their usual red-shirt attire and will be posted near store entrances to identify potential Ron Paul supporters before they enter the premises. Any customers who are identified as known Ron Paul supporters or as being sympathetic to constitutionally correct government will be fingerprinted, DNA sampled and chipped [RFID] by the undercover law enforcement counter terrorism surveillance personnel before being taken into protective custody.

The counter terrorism surveillance was implemented after a
terrorism alert hit earnings at Walgreens [WAG] after CNN's Beck's comments.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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