Psychologists and election experts working closely together for the past three years have finally determined how President George W. Bush won his re-election campaign: Stockholm Syndrome. Dr. Ian Schroeder of the University of Chicago, head of the research team into the problem, offered the following in an article in the New England Journal of Medicine:
"Stockholm Syndrome generally occurs with the kidnapped person or prisoner begins to identify with and feel for the pains of their captor. It causes them to switch sides, as it were, and begin identifying with and enlisting in opinions and activities that they would otherwise ignore or fight against."
The American voter, after almost four years of being help captive by the Bush Administration, actually begin espousing the values and tenets of that administration: loss of personal freedom and civil rights, stupidity, dishonesty, duplicity, etc. They begin to identify with their kidnapper, as it were, and actually put him back into office, even though the majority never voted him to be there in the first place."
When told that social scientists felt that Stockholm Syndrome was what helped him win the election in 2004, Bush was confused. "Was that anything like The China Syndrome? I didn't like that movie too much cuz it had Hanoi Jane in it and all the nucular science stuff was kind of confusing."