San Francisco, Ca. - An undisclosed source inside the San Francisco's prosecutor's office reports that in an interview with his lawyer, Barry Bonds blamed his steroid use on "tainted" fried chicken.
He claims he became addicted to "Sweet Jail Rays" fried chicken and someone must have "slipped" the "roids" in his chicken without his knowledge. (Sweet Jail Rays is a restaurant located in San Francisco's bay area with a view of Alcatraz State Penitentiary where Ray, its owner was once an inmate. The wait staff dress as "jail birds" and serve the bay's best-fried chicken.)
Bonds claims he became so addicted to Rays chicken that he had it flown to him during the "away" games and tournaments.
"That fool didn't get no roids from my chicken. He ate enough of it to grow wings, but he can't blame my chicken for his blown-up head size. Ain't no chicken I know can do that, what, super chicken? Man's a damn fool, if you ask me." Ray states.
Bonds, insists however, that someone in Rays restaurant was putting drugs in his chicken. "Chicken is blamed for everything now days, from man boobs to steroids use. It's become a common theme among criminals, 'the chicken made me to it.' If I would have said that when I got caught, and sent to Alcatraz, they would have fried ME!" Ray replied.