Written by Deanna Goodson

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Topics: Washington, Security

Monday, 29 March 2004

image for Condoleeza Rice's Lips Are Sealed
I have a secret.

Washington, DC---

National Security Advisor, Condoleeza Rice, will not testify before the Committee to Figure out What the Heck Happened on 9/11, citing a little-known rule that, "National Security Advisors don't have to talk to anyone if they don't want to, nanana-boo boo. I know a secret and I don't have to tell anyone. Hahaheeheehee." She may have said to someone who isn't testifying either.

Many people are outraged because of this. They want to know what she and perhaps President Bush knew prior to the attacks.

"Well, I can honestly tell you that President Bush knows nothing," a spokesperson said today. Not many people argued the point; however, they think Condoleeza, or Conde, for short, does know.

"She's smart, that one. She went to college and got her Ph.D. We know she knows a thing or two. It ain't all book learning, neither," a congressman from the Deep South said.

Despite her knowledge, or lack thereof, she's not budging. "Conde's a tough gal. She knows when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em. When to walk away and when to run," A congressional aide wearing a Kenny Rogers Rules concert t-shirt said.

Perhaps, Ms. Rice is just following Mark Twain's advice. "It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."

"We sho' do wish President Bush would have followed Ole Samuel Clemens' advice hisself. If'n he could shut his mouth once in a blue moon, that would be good," a gentleman and a Texan politician said.

Whatever the reason, Condoleeza is not talking. She's not making the rounds to television or the media. She's keeping real quiet and not talking to anybody.

"At least, that's fair. I mean it would be real upsetting if she was telling everyone BUT the congressional committee why she isn't testifying. That would be wrong, but who am I to judge?" God said from his
summer home near Mt. Ollympus today.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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