The United States Department of Agriculture has decreed that all companies who sell Buffalo Wings must stop using that name as it is false advertising. Department Spokesman Vern Kwim delivered the following statement in regards to the decision:
"Buffalo are still an endangered species. We don't go around eating Bald Eagle Wings or Condor Wings or Gorilla Wings, so we should not encourage people to eat a product named after an endangered species.
"Secondly, the opinion of Jessica Simpson to the contrary, we have determined that there is no Buffalo in buffalo wings. They are actually pieces of chicken wings dipped in bbq sauce. Continuing to call this product something that it is not is deceptive to the public and constitutes false advertising."
In other decisions related to the fast food industry, the U.S.D.A. also determined that McDonalds can no longer use the name hamburger for the product that they serve until they actually add hamburger meat/beef to their product. The same will be true with the Big Mac song ("two all beef patties...); it must be changed to "two mystery meat patties."