US and A - Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, the San Fernando Valley fluffers' union have pledged to strike along with the Hollywood screenwriters and the Broadway stagehands. The potential effect of this dire act would be to cripple the multi-million-dollar U.S. pornography industry -- which is, by the way, the only thing propping up the economy at the moment.
With a weak dollar threatening imports and rising oil prices, pornograpy experts predict that the triple-threat of a collapsed porn industry just might signal the beginning of the end for American hegemony.
"No one saw the end of the Roman Empire coming, either," testified one witness on the topic of fluffers before a Senate Subcommittee. "At the very least it will be like the strikes in baseball and hockey. The porn industry will lose a portion of its audience, never to return with the same level of interest. People may actually even turn to 'ascii pr0n' for sexual gratification." (Note: For anyone unfamiliar with it, 'ascii pr0n' is best described as a series of symbols/letters typed on a page in such a way that they appear to form an erotic image.)
On the news of the fluffers planned strike, the Dow Jones Industrial Average fell one trillion points.